


The Dark

by Aruse



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aruse/pseuds/Aruse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Team Free Will thinks about the dark. Includes Kevin, Crowley, Balthazar, Gabriel, and Lucifer’s thoughts about the dark. Each chapter is one person’s thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dean

The dark isn’t scary, it’s just not the best time to fight a monster. But, for some reason, that’s the only time monsters ever seem to show up. I guess me and Sammy have gotten pretty good at ganking monsters in the dark. All I’m saying is that’s it’s easier to kill a shifter in the daylight, where you can see ‘em. Not out in broad daylight, where everyone can see you, but in like a warehouse or a back alley. 

 

Then again, the middle of the day ain’t the best time to fight a monster, either. One video of a hunter killing a monster gets out and everybody loses their minds. That’s not the only thing. If another hunter sees it you’re gonna be in deep shit. Then there’s the cops that get called to the scene. The whole point of being a hunter is taking care of demons and monsters with out getting the cops involved. 

 

Anyways, the dark ain’t that bad. It’s actually kinda fun, if you know what mean. Me and Cas usually hang out at night, so Sam doesn’t see us and make fun of us. So he doesn’t make fun of me, I mean. Even I make fun of Cas. I wish I didn’t, though. I wish I could just talk to Cas with out sounding like a dick. I know he doesn’t understand half of the stuff I talk about, but I should be better at realizing that. 

 

I just feel like I don’t deserve him. He’s done so much for me and Sam, and all we’ve done for him is act like douchebags. We act like everything he does isn’t good enough. I try to make it up to him every night, but the next day I just say something that makes me feel guilty again. I don’t think that he understands that I feel guilty. I think he interprets me sleeping with him as just me liking him. That’s not it. I love him, of course, but I’d never admit that, but I also try to show him that I’m sorry for acting like a dick. 

 

The main thing I don’t like about the dark is that Sam lives under the same roof as me. God, that kid can make some noise. So can Gabriel. Ew. And I have to listen to that almost every night.


	2. Sam

Sometimes the dark is scary. I was always afraid of the dark as a little kid even though we were hunters. Maybe it wasn’t the monsters I was afraid of. Maybe it was the fact that there was a shotgun on my right and a silver knife on my left. 

 

Maybe that wasn’t it either. Maybe I was afraid of the dark because that’s when Dean and dad would go out. One time Dean didn’t come back. I was only 14 and Dean was 18. He was gone for nearly three days until dad found him passed out in a back alley on the other side of town. Dean wouldn’t talk to dad about what happened. When he finally did talk he said it was just a Djinn. Dean said that he iced it and passed out once he got outside. He didn’t think that he’d be passed out that long. 

 

But I knew better. I made Dean tell me what really happened. He finally broke down and spilled his guts to me. He said that he knew we didn’t have as much money as we usually did. He told me that he went out and stood on a corner for two hours until someone picked him up. Dean just kept apologizing.

 

I couldn’t believe him. I couldn’t believe that he would go out and prostitute himself. He said he had to find a way to put food on the table for me. I felt like it was my fault, too. I felt like he thought I couldn’t take care of myself. After that I made him promise never to do that again. Dean never did that again. He still hasn’t told me how he ended up passed out. Sometimes I think it’s better that I don’t know.

 

Sometimes I have nightmares about when I was little. I don’t tell Dean though. The only person I tell is Gabriel. He seems to understand pretty well. He doesn’t make fun of me and tell me to man up like my dad would. That’s why I don’t tell Dean. He doesn’t understand what it was like for me to sit in the motel room, not knowing where him and dad were, or if they were coming home. 

 

Gabe understands though, or at least he tries. His brother tried to kill him. He’s been through enough hell. I feel like I should be the one holding him in the middle of the night after a nightmare. Not the other way around. What usually happens is me and Gabriel staying up till three in the morning with me crying and him holding me and trying to get me to calm down. He has nightmares too, and sometimes I end up holding him. I don’t mind that, though. When I try to get Gabe to calm down I feel like I’m actually helping him instead of hurting him. 

 

Other nights neither of us had nightmares. Those are the nights I’m pretty sure Dean dislikes living in the bunker with me and Gabriel. I try to be quiet, I really do. It’s just-the things Gabe can do with his mouth. He’s done things to me that I didn’t even think were humanly possible. Then again, Gabe is an angel, so he could probably do a lot more than what he’s shown me. 

And then there’s Gabriel himself. He make animalistic noises. Seriously. He roared last time. Roared. I’m pretty sure Dean got up and checked if there was a lion in the bunker. I’ve told him again and again that he needs to keep it down, and that other people live here too, but his excuse is always ‘Maybe if you didn’t want to hear me make noises like that, then you shouldn’t have mated with me, dipshit.’ He can be a real dick sometimes, but I still love him to death. And hey, what’s wrong with bringing out the animal in someone?


	3. Castiel

Why should the dark be scary? There is nothing to be afraid of in the dark, especially when you can see your opponents, but they cannot see you. In daylight everyone can see everyone. No one has the upper hand. In the dark, the one with the upper hand is the one who can see, or sense, the others around them. I have the ability to sense when others are around me. Dean says that is why we cannot have a prank war. He says that it wouldn’t be fair if I was able to sense when someone was about to pie me. I still don’t understand that term. 

 

Dean also says that the night is the only time we should be together. I am fully aware why. The only thing I don’t understand is why Dean is so insistent on it. Sam is already aware of the relations me and Dean share, as are we of his and Gabriel’s relations. Everybody is. I have knowledge that even Crowley can hear them some nights. Dean says not to talk about the noise and just go with it.

 

Sometimes Dean and I make a lot of noise as well. Dean says not to talk about that either, so I don’t. Sam has tried to talk to me and Dean about our relationship. Whenever Sam brings it up Dean says that he isn’t “Gay for Cas”. I believe that Sam does not agree with his brother’s thoughts. I do not either. Dean is bisexual, as am I, though I do not believe that angels can be considered as one sexuality or another. Though Gabriel has not said anything, I am pretty sure that he is, what’s the word, pansexual? Yes, I believe that is the word. Sam on the other hand is, well he’s complicated. I would consider him bisexual, but he has said that he was strictly in relationships with women before he met Gabriel. Gabriel has that affect on people.

I’m getting off topic. As I was saying, the dark is not to be feared, only to be misunderstood. The dark has nothing to hide, but what is possible if you only turn on a light.


	4. Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating for this chapter may go up a bit due to swearing.

Let me guess, you probably think that I’m gonna say something sexual and crude about the dark, don’t you? Well I’m not. I’m gonna tell you the truth. 

 

The dark is a never ending soul destroying, heart breaking, mind crushing void. You might think that the longer you’re in the dark the more you become accustomed to it, or, maybe if you just close your eyes all the bad things the dark brings will go away. Well all the bad things don’t go away. Once you’re left alone in the dark your mind runs wild with every conceivable thought and idea in existence. All the bad thoughts build up in your head during the day, held by the reality you’re experiencing at that moment. Once all the lights go out your mind fucking explodes with everything it wouldn’t let you think about during the day. Fear, panic, chaos, hate, regret, guilt, pain. That’s all you can think about. No happiness, no love, no one.

 

Your mind can create worlds and come up with ideas that can change the world, but no. In the middle of the night all you can think about is how horribly you’ve wasted this life. You think about all of the things you could have done, all the things you could have stopped, or changed, or started. And only you know and understand the pain you’re in when these thoughts start to cloud your mind. Everybody has these thoughts, it’s just that everybody has different thoughts. No matter how much two people talk about the dark, twisted things that go on in their minds, one person will never, never understand the struggle that someone else goes through on a daily basis. 

 

Your mind buzzes with all the random and horrible thoughts you’ve ever had. And then it all just stops. Your thoughts reach a standstill. Your mind goes blank and you become aware of the silence around you. A silence so quiet it’s deafening. And it’s in that silence... you realize just how... alone... you truly are... 

 

And then that one person walks into your life. The person that changes everything. They aren’t really that important at first, and then they flip your whole fucking world upside down. That one, seemingly meaningless person does one damn thing and, you might not realize it at first, but you slowly start to understand that you’re not alone anymore. That one person can do so little for you, and yet by doing so they do so much. 

 

That person can hold you in the darkness and tell you that you mean something. They can take your hands and kiss your scars and tell you that you never should have taken a blade to your body because you are so much more than just a name and you aren’t defined by how cold the metal is or how many nights you’ve laid awake hating yourself for so many reasons. And you start to believe them. Gradually you open up to them about why you hate yourself so much. Through the tears and the reopened wounds you see them start to understand. Then you realize that they’re just as broken as you are. You want to help them be okay just like they helped you. 

 

In the end you’ll both have scars and cracks, but under the surface you’ll be able to see that you’re both better with each other than you are without. 

For me that person was Sam. He changed everything... He made everything better.


End file.
